Half Way Through!!

I am proud to announce that I am officially done with the second week of the Ballet West Summer Intensive out here in Salt Lake City. Boy, what a week!! The ballet mistress of the company taught our ballet classes everyday. She's a really sweet lady and actually, sometimes it was hard to take her seriously because she was so laid back, especially in our repitory rehearsals. I love love loved her class!! The 2 hours we spent with her each morning were always a joy and seemed to fly by, in comparison with the rest of the day, which just seems to drag on. After a lovely start to each day with Pam, we had pointe and variations with another one of my favorite teachers named Jane. We learned two variations from the ballet Paquita, both of which I enjoyed thoroughly. I was trying so hard so that she would notice me. When your a dancer looking to stay on with the company for the school year, all you want to do is make an impression on all your teachers, and that is just what I am aiming to do. It was like the best feeling when she would walk up to me and give  me a simple correction like move bigger or pointe your feet or just smile. All I want at this point is for them to see that I have at least a little bit of potential and hope and that they want me to be here next year. I'm literally working my butt off over here! Let's just hope it pays off...

We also did a few modern classes this week, and let me just admit right now, I will never ever be a modern dancer. There is nothing appealing to me about that kind of movement. This particular modern class involved alot of improv... in other words, pure torture for about an hour. I am not even close to being creative enough to just come up with movement and combinations on the spot like that. I end up just flopping around and looking like an idiot, then I look around and see all these cool things people are pulling out of no where. I just don't get it. I love the structure I get with ballet. Everything follows particular rules in a particular order and it just makes sense!! I guess I'm just too uptight :) I love my rules and my organization. Dance without rules is just.. not right. But that's just my opinion. There are plenty of people that would disagree with me and that's fine by me. I just can't stand the idea of not having any order to my work. I'm a true born bunhead :) On Thursday, we also had a second technique class after our lunch break. So just after you've died in your first ballet class in the morning, you've gotta get back in that studio and do the exact same thing. The teacher who taught was this tiny little man with all sorts of loads of energy named Calvin Kitten. He's about my height, with crazy muscles and probably has more energy than all of us dancers combined. He's always running around the studio yelling at you to move more and work harder and be better. And honestly, it was my favorite class of the week. He just makes you want to work so hard and I went in there and just busted my butt on everything. And it really paid off! It's always nice when a teacher really notices you and gives you lots of corrections. It just makes you feel good about yourself and makes you push yourself that much harder. And then, when the class if over, you actually feel like you've accomplished something. I wish all teachers worked as hard as he does at his job. I love teachers like that, who really push you to your fullest potential and make you want to work, although, I know that it's important to be able to motivate yourself like that everyday, no matter who is teaching. That's the hard part about being a professional dancer.I'm just glad that I got to have a few classes with Calvin while I was here.

Me and some friends after the Arts Fest

After a very long and treacherous week, with quarter size blisters and a sore ankle and really tight muscles, the weekend finally came :) Ahh I love the weekends. On Friday night, we all went to this Arts Festival. A few Ballet West dancers were performing on this outdoor stage. They were all so beautiful, even in the Utah summer heat. We were all sweating our butts off, so I can only imagine how the dancers were feeling up there. I would have died for sure! Then, we just walked around and looked at all the cool paintings, and enjoyed a few free samples of greek yogurt and gelato. There's nothing so sweet as free food to a poor and starving dancer :) On Saturday, we went to this fun center out in Sandy, Utah. And it was actually really fun to act like a little kid for a day, going on all the bouncy houses and roller skating and doing lazer tag. We all had a blast! But, hand sanitizer was the first thing I grabbed for once we left. Yuck. Little kids are really gross. I don't want to even think about all the nasty diseases living on those jungle gyms.Things I learned that day: I cannot, to save my life, roller skate. It's impossible. Also, snow cones are the greatest invention on earth. You should have seen me and my new friend, Joey, scarfing down our vanilla and blue raspberry snow cones. Soo good!! And even better when they only cost a dollar. You then should have seen me failing out on the roller skating rink.. It was quite the sight. Let me just describe it to you. Just picture a girl in bright blue ghetto roller skates, basically walking around the rink, going about two miles an hour. I think I almost fell a hundred times, but I never actually ate rink, so that's a good thing, right?! haha! After the adventure at the fun center, a few of us went to the movies and watched the new movie Brave. It was such a cute show! I mean, totally not what I expected, but still really good. I kept waiting for the love story to begin with the girl and all the suitors, but it never actually happened. It was just about her and her mom the whole time. It needed a little bit of a love story, then I would have been completely satisfied :) I guess I am a total chick flick fan! Can't live without them!

It is now Sunday and I am just enjoying a relaxing day from my dorm room, sitting on my hard mattress and listening to some Luke Bryan, aka the greatest country artist ever!! I am a little obsessed right now :) Don't worry though, it'll only last a few more weeks until I find another song to over play for awhile. Well, now that I've rambled on for what seems like days (I'm sure all my readers would agree with me. Especially my sister, Jessica. I'm sure she's just dying right now! Love you, Jess!!), I better get back to my facebook stalking and laying around in my pajamas for the rest of the day. I sure need today to rest up for another tough week. The artistic director of the company is teaching our class this week and I am thoroughly freaking out. He will basically decide if I can be a trainee next year... wish me luck! I sure will need it!! Until next time...

Actually Being Social and the Consquences that Follow

Gateway Mall :)

None of you are going to believe this, but for the first time since being here in Salt Lake, I actually put on something other than my comfy sweatpants and got out of my little dorm room! This whole past week, the only thing I've done after my 7 hours of dancing is crawled into bed and sat on my laptop until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. I think my roommates started worrying about me, because they kept inviting me to do things with them, but I would always make up excuses, like I have to register for college classes, or I need to call my mom, or I just need to relax for a little bit; all of which are perfectly good excuses, if you ask me! haha! But, I decided that I am going to actually start being social and get out of my little comfort zone of pajamas and episodes of The Bachelorette from the recluse of my dorm room. So, I squeezed into a pair of shorts, which are really not as comfortable as my regular apparel, might I add. I made my way up to the common room and starting meeting real people! Ya, I can hardly believe it myself! I seriously have a problem, but I would much rather just sit around all by myself. It's just so hard to meet new people, even if you know they are always going to be welcoming and nice to you, and most of the dancers you meet usually are! We took the Trax downtown and went to the Gateway mall, which is this absolutely beautiful outdoor mall with amazing restaurants and some of my favorite stores, I discovered :) I was a little bit uneasy as I realized that none of the people I know were there yet, but I stuck with a really nice 14 year old girl (haha! I was feeling like a schoolgirl again with her, which was really fun actually! It's funny how much you grow up in just four years. She was so sweet, but oh wow, I'm glad I don't have to talk about childish drama anymore!) who also shares an obsession with Starbucks :) We hit the Starbucks first, spending a decent amount on a small little frapaccino. I hate how expensive it is just for a tall, but honestly, it's totally worth it. I don't know who came up with the Vanilla Bean frap, but it is pure genius. Just saying. If I had the money and the metabolism to keep me skinny all the time, I would buy one every single day. But, moving on, I hung out with her and we hit all our favorite stores. I helped her match some outfits while she was in the dressing room. It was really fun! I felt like a personal fashionista or something. I think she thought I was a little weird for only picking out shirts with sleeves and dresses that went to my knee, but she was polite enough not to make fun of me for it. 

I promised myself I wouldn't spend a lot of money, but we all know how it goes when you put on that perfect dress and find the perfect piece of jewelry, and you're holding this debit card and all you can think is, Oh I gotta have this. Man oh man, debit cards are trouble. You can't actually see the money you're spending, so when you look at the receipt and realize that you've just spent $40 on a shirt and a dress and a necklace, you have that inevitable moment of panic, which is usually calmed by friends who reassure you that you're making the right decision, followed by a big bowl of frozen yogurt. There's just something about frozen yogurt that makes you feel happy about all the shopping mistakes you just made that day. I did so good for awhile. I didn't buy anything at the first few stores we went to, but then... there came Forever 21. Seriously, who can resist splurging there? I haven't met a single person who can successfully go shopping there and not walk out with a new outfit. It's like there are little creatures living in their dressing rooms whispering to you that you like desperately need that shirt! And, let me tell you, they sure got to me! I bought a green dress, a cute new shirt, a gorgeous necklace that I have already worn today :) and a cheap little nail polish, which I obviously needed at the time, but, I mean, it was only $2... totally justified! After emptying my pockets there, we had to hit the froyo, which was spectacular, as always. Then we returned back to the dorms, and, naturally, I threw on my pajamas (of course. who would I be if I could keep on real clothes for more than 5 hours?!) and we played apples to apples and watch Despicable Me. After a very long day of socializing and having to actually talk to people, I can conclude that there are some really great people here and I am glad that I got to meet a lot of them yesterday. I am striving to make more friends in the next 3 weeks and really attend all the little activities that the advisors host for us every night. It's gonna be very tempting to just lay in bed by myself (even thinking about it makes me want to do it right now!), but I'm just going to suck it up and actually have a social life with these people! haha alright this post is making me sound really screwed up! I promise I'm not that bad, but when you've just danced for 7 hours, it suddenly turns you into an antisocial hermit who only wants to facebook stalk people until bedtime. I must resist the urge!! 

Speaking of which, I must bid you all adieu so that I can go eat sushi and watch a movie with some of my new friends! Yay me! haha! I hope everyone is enjoying their Father's Day. Don't worry, Dad, your personal Dad post is coming tomorrow!! Don't think I forgot about your special day just because I'm having a blast over here, spending all your money in Salt Lake :) Happy Father's Day, Dad! Your the greatest father any girl could ask for. Try not to worry about the finances today (my dad is a notorious worrier, especially when it comes to "the budget"...seriously, YOLO, Dad :) ) and take a 4 hour nap just because you can. Love you more than you know!! Can't wait to talk to you tonight! Alright, signing off...

Always on the Move

Remember when I was home a week ago, lounging in the sun and catching up with all the friends I'd left behind? Well, I guess there's something wrong with my feet. I guess they always have to be on the move. I don't think I am even allowed to be in a single place for more than a few weeks. Something is obviously wrong with me. I had just settled back into home life, all my bags were unpacked, I was sleeping in my own bed and eating food that was cooked for me, and I just had to turn around and leave again! The suitcases were once again filled and the plane tickets were purchased, the pointe shoes made their way out of their sojourn in my ballet bag and I was off to Salt Lake City.

It's hard leaving home. It's a terrible feeling knowing that you have to part ways with so many loved ones and friends in order to pursue a lifelong dream. I hate the fact that I will most likely always be packing and unpacking, moving from place to place to chase the goal of professional ballet. Sometimes, I just want to be at home, talking face to face with my family at the dinner table, instead of just hearing their voices over the phone. There is a certain comfort of home missing from my life, but at the same time, one has to make lots of sacrifices to be able to get where they really want to be. And it's quite a lot of sacrifices for an uncertain outcome. I have no idea if I will ever be able to get a job in a ballet company, so all I can do is keep moving forward, working hard, putting myself out there in the hopes of one day becoming the professional dancer that I've always wanted to become. I just want to thank my family and friends who have all supported me in all my crazy endeavors. You are the ones who have gotten me here.

Summertime for a dancer means it's time for summer intensives. This year, I decided to attend the Ballet West summer intensive out here in Salt Lake. When you are younger, you go for the experience of having different teachers and a different perspective on your dancing, but when you are getting to the point where you are entering the real ballet world, a summer intensive is another shot at getting a job. I came here with the intent of hopefully being offered a spot in Ballet West's trainee program. It's sort of like an unpaid internship with the company and it's like putting your toe in the door of a ballet company. It's now Friday, and I am proud to say that I have successfully gotten through the first week of a killer intensive. Before I came, I took two weeks off, which guarantees lots and lots of soreness and pain and tight muscles and fatigue when you get back into the swing of dancing again. This is exactly what happened to me, my friends. I threw myself into 9 to 5 dancing days this past Monday, and let me tell you, what a nightmare. The day starts off with a two hour ballet class, followed by an hour long pointe class, then lunch (yay!!), then an hour of partnering or another style of dance, then two hour rehearsal of repitory or composition. The first day was, to say the least, tiring. The altitude really has an immense effect on you when you've been living and dancing at sea level for the past two years. After seven long hours of dancing and killing myself, I was happy to hit my pillow at the end of the day. The second day is much much worse than the first because you are way more tired and waaay more sore!! But  nothing beats the third day, which is said to be the worst. My entire body was sore and basically screaming at me every time I moved anything. Each day is a new trial and every class means new challenges and new things to work on. Your feet hurt incredibly by the end of the day and your body gets so tired, you sometimes don't think that you can make the walk back to the dorms from the bus stop. But, this is just the reality of getting back in shape and summer intensives. And I am truly loving all of it. The teachers here make me excited to dance and the choreography we are learning is fun and challenging. It's always nice to go to a new place and see other dancers and teachers everyday. It makes you work that much more to impress everyone around you and show the teachers that you can handle what they are dishing out to you. Now that I've sort of gotten over the soreness effect of the first week, I can't wait for what the next three weeks will bring!! It's going to be over before I know it, so I just need to focus on soaking up all I can and work really really hard. Hopefully they will see some potential in me and offer me that trainee position I really want!! Wish me luck!

Well, I've got lots of icing to do and stretching to do and maybe even a little socializing to do. It is Friday night, for goodness sakes! I will be sure to keep you all posted during the next three weeks. I'll just be working my tail off! But for now, it's the weekend!! And I am so very grateful for it! Boy, do my feet need it!

BNC's Day of Gala

I must be honest with all of you, despite which of my old teachers are reading this, gala has never been my favorite time of year. You spend basically an entire semester trying to take a regular technique class while also squeezing in a little time everyday to learn your gala piece. It's usually just a disaster and everyone forgets everything they learned the week before. And, honestly, I think it takes a lot of time away from the technique classes that I desperately need. But, I also did love being able to perform with all by buddies and get new tights and a new leotard every year, and I have even put all those gala skirts to good use, surprisingly enough!! yay! It is a really good way to end the year, I think. And it's also nice to have several different pieces to perform, plus it's usually pretty easy going, especially after doing the student company show like the week before. Alright, so I guess that gala isn't so bad after all!

Just a typical scene from gala haha!

I haven't done gala for two years now, yet I have still been there both of those years. Last year, I volunteered back stage and helped about a bajillion little girls put in head pieces and tie on skirts, and make sure that they didn't completely smear off all their makeup. Good times. . . It was probably the longest day ever. And it made it even worse that there were three shows in one day, which meant buttloads of hairspray, lots and lots of bright colored tutus, and more than enough screaming in the dressing room. It's a good thing they are all ridiculously cute, or they would just be quite a nuisance! But, regardless of the crying and costume changes, it was really fun to talk to all my teachers that I had left the year before and get reacquainted with all my friends.

Today was yet another gala, and I was asked to come and be presented as a graduating senior by one of my most cherished and best teachers. Julia, my lifelong ballet instructor, will always been dear in my heart. She has done so much for me. Not only does she do an amazing job at training all her students, she is also one of the sweetest, kindest people to ever walk the earth. She's always been there for me. I can't tell you how many times I've cried in her little cubicle office or laughed with her in rehearsals or just had great conversations with her on the phone. She can always offer me great advice and I know that she will always have my back. Anyway, she asked me to come and stand with all the other graduating seniors from BNC and sort of get recognized. I thought it was such an honor to be able to still say that I have BNC as my home away from home. Even though I haven't danced there in two years, I still feel like I'm apart of all of it. It was so good to be recognized for the 11 years I danced there and was trained by spectacular teachers before heading out on my own path. So, thank you, Julia. Thank you for being an amazing friend and a truly incredible teacher.

Just me and Bayley :)

I also got to watch my little sister, Bayley, dance in three pieces; a ballet piece, a jazz piece and a contemporary piece. Honestly?? I am speechless!! How did she get so good in this past year?! Seriously! I first saw her in the ballet piece and I really could not believe how put together and grown up she looked in her pointe shoes on stage and totally nailing everything. She has improved so much this year and I am so proud of how far she has come. I can tell that she just has a real passion for dance and I love watching her perform on stage. She has such a captivating stage presence and she has really become a beautiful little dancer!! I am so impressed by her and I hope that she will continue working for whatever goal she wants to reach. I can't believe how much she has grown up in the past two years. I hate to think I missed seeing all of that. To me, she has always been the baby of the family. It's weird seeing her as like a teenager, and not that cute little girl who used to play barbies with me and tease me and have sleepovers with me. I've had so many great times with her. I think that we've always been really close and I hope that we can grow even closer since, hopefully, we will be able to relate on a lot more things than we used to. At times, she can be too cool for school and act like she's all that, but she never ceases to make me laugh and also make me feel like more of a dork than I already am! haha! I hate that she steals my clothes and gets into my makeup, but in the long run, those things don't even matter and one day I will look back and just laugh at all the times I screamed at her for wearing the shirt I deliberately told her not to wear. I'm excited for her and where she is going with all that talent of hers. Congratulations, Bayley! So proud of you, little sis :)

Now, I am just really glad that I am not wearing my 5 inch heels anymore. Dang, your feet get really tired when they are forced to stay in an unnatural position for far too long. Whoever invented high heels had a lot of malice towards women, but at the same time they created one of the best inventions on earth. There's nothing better than a beautiful high heel. Well, I better turn in for the night. Lots and lots of planning for my grad party tomorrow!! I'll be sure to blog soon! Until then...

Just a typical sleepover on the trampoline. Love my little sis!!

Sweet Nothings of Summer

I'm very pleased to announce that I am finally FINALLY home!! You don't realize how much you've missed a place until you're actually there, sleeping in your own bed, eating out of your own fridge and once again having all your laundry being done by your gracious and amazing mother. Seriously. I've been missing out on some pretty incredible stuff. I love being able to put my dish in the sink and know that I won't be yelled at about it. I love waking up at 9:00 and know that I'm in my own room. I love having all the things that I need without having to go shopping for them or asking my mom to ship them to me. I love opening my drawers and having all my clothes there. I love being able to call my friends up for an afternoon at the pool, which is exactly what I'm doing today. There really is nothing better than being home for summer.

I had quite the adventure at the airport in an attempt to come home. Apparently, flights can still be canceled in the beginning of summer, when there is absolutely no snow anywhere. I know. Crazy, right?! It was totally unexpected, but after dragging about 150 pounds of luggage and carry-ons into a tiny little airport, we were told that our flight was canceled that evening and that we should go grab our bags and go home. At that point, I just wanted to sit down and cry for a few hours. You don't know how much terrible and stressful and utterly exhausting the airport can be until you've carried two huge duffels, a backpack full of books and papers, a ballet bag full of dead pointe shoes, and a purse that you've pretty much shoved everything else that doesn't fit anywhere else. And, being the stupid, crazy cupcake fanatic that I am, we just HAD to buy one last dozen from Georgetown Cupcakes (I mean, who would I be if I didn't get my cupcakes before I left!). So, you can imagine my defeat and anguish when I realized that I had to do the entire process of dying and dragging myself with all that crap through the airport again. Thankfully, my mom and dad were there to take a little of the load off of me. My dad took one of my duffels and my mom carried my ballet bag. I don't know if I would have made it without them! But, after yet another dreadful trip through the airport, we finally made it home, in one piece, with all the luggage we left with. And even though I landed in a freaking dessert, brown grass and no trees, it felt amazing to be home in Colorado again. The air is dry as ever, there seems to be no real trees anywhere, but I love Colorado to death.

I've only been home for a few days now, but it has been a pretty eventful few days! I'm already starting to check off a few things from my summer bucket list, I drove for the first time in a manual car ON THE ROAD (ya, I was basically peeing myself the entire time. I only stalled it once, though, and I only shifted from 2nd to 5th gear once, so I would say it was actually quite a success!), I've already been on a lovely date, I've unpacked all my crap (which is really impressive for me. I'm the kind of person who will just leave my bags on my bedroom floor for about a week before getting around to pulling all the clothes I jammed into them), I finally finished my calculus class (HALLELUIAH!!), and I'm heading out to the pool in just a few minutes here. It's been full of sweet nothings, I would say. I've basically been wearing the same t-shirt and shorts this entire time I've been home, but that is the beauty of summer. I can be lazy all day long and no one will care! I can just pull on a pair of shoes and go driving with my brother. I can throw on a swimsuit and head out to the pool whenever I want. Ahh, I just love summer. You've got all this newfound freedom and all the time in the world to use it. I just can't wait to really get this summer started and make the most of my last summer as a kid, before I have to go out in the real world and be all responsible. At least I've had these past two years to practice being all mature and responsible. Whatever :) I'm throwing all that away for the next 3 months and doing whatever I want. And that includes all the things on my bucket list. If I don't check off all the things on that list, I will have to call this summer a failure. So wish me luck!!

I hope you are all enjoying your summers (or having fun finishing up school, all my buddies back in DC!!). I will check in hopefully pretty regularly, or whenever something totally awesome happens. But, seeing as this has been a pretty laid back start to my summer, I can't imagine anything mind blowing will happen anytime soon. We'll I must bid adieu and go to the pool. Officially starting my tan tattoo today, and desperately trying to get rid of this terrible t-shirt tan line I picked up from sightseeing in DC on memorial day. I look like a dork. I can imagine this tan line in my swimsuit will not be too attractive. . .thank goodness it's only my friends and me at the pool today!! Here's to hoping I can tan this summer!!!

Until next time,
your ballerina to be

LAST DAY!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! QOIFJWEFOIJEDFOSPOISAJSFOIFJ!!!!! . . . yep, those are my highly educated, very organized thoughts at the moment. I hope that they have been sufficiently represented here :) This is crazy! I am literally flabbergasted that this is my last day in Washington DC... probably for a very long time. Although, if any of my friends ask, I am visiting very very soon! But seriously, I really do want to visit all of you as soon as I can earn $300 bucks and get my sorry butt down here again. This has been a truly incredible place to be and I am so lucky to have been able to live in such a wonderful city with such incredible people who have seriously changed my life. I just want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for how much you've done for me. Unfortunately, this post might turn into a novel and you would all fall asleep after about a paragraph or two, so I'm not going to thank you individually, but let's just say that if you've been in my life this year, you are automatically included in this post.

1. The thing I am going to miss most of all about Washington DC is the amazing, ridiculous, crazy, awesome, hilarious, supportive, caring, beautiful, spectacular friends I have made throughout the year. I have gotten so close with all of the dancers at the Washington School of Ballet and they have all left me with something that I can keep with me for the rest of my life. It was amazing to me how much of a family we became so quickly during the year. I never felt like I was secluded from anything or anyone because everyone was just so inclusive and so welcoming to all of us newbies this year. It's pretty hard for me to make friends, especially since I am officially socially awkward, I am slightly anti social (alright fine, I'm really antisocial), and apparently people are scared of me when they first meet me. Wow, what a combination of such lovely characteristics I have! haha! But seriously, you can see how difficult it would be for me to make friends with people I have just met (who think I'm scary and mean and terrible :) ), but I feel like, right off the bat, I just had some really good friends.

 As the year went on, I became especially close with a small group of girls, who, at first, seemed way too crazy for me to even handle. When I first met them, I never would have guessed that I would be so close with them now. They were younger and immature (teehee :) its true, I must admit) and crazy at times, but now I realize that those are the things that I love about them most. When Nutcracker came along, we really got to know each other and I think I officially became one of the crazy, immature girls who laughs at pointless youtube videos and who sings obnoxious songs in the ballet studios just for fun. Ever since then, we have just gotten so close. I feel like I can tell them anything and they will support me in everything. We laugh about stupid stuff and cry about even stupider stuff. We have illegal sleepovers at the Porter Street house and bake high caloric desserts on friday nights just for the heck of it. We talk about the latest gossip in the dressing room. We pick out each others outfits for a night on the town. We eat at the cheesecake factory after waiting 2 hours for a table. We take thousands of pictures of the dumbest things. We come of up with crazy inside jokes that only we would understand. We talk about the future like we have a clue. We goof off in rehearsals, even when I get frustrated at their immaturity haha! We make plans about hanging out on the weekends which never really happen. We watch stupidly hilarious youtube videos, which cause us to get way too hysterical.

We laugh about all the dumb things we've done and cry when absolutely necessary (unless you're me haha! I'm just screwed up...). I'm going to miss them more than they realize. I've gone through so much with them and I cannot imagine not being able to come to ballet and tell them everything that's happening to me and for them to tell me that everything's going to be okay. I've made so many unforgettable memories with these girls, some of them I will remember for the rest of my life. Trick or treating in 4 inch heels, only go to barefoot after 10 minutes, making up lyrics to the pas de duex music in Nutcracker and everyone dying of laughter, our amazing triple birthday dinner with the crazy waiter and the creepy guy waiting outside, the many many occasions of cupcakes and the secret Georgetown cupcakes I only shared with them (shhh!! Don't tell a soul!), the diet coke obsessions, the constant online shopping, liking and commenting on every single picture that we post, stupid facebook lingo that no one understands (kd4w6... ya, I still have a hard time understanding it), the long and mostly pointless rehearsals, laughing at

 
stupid immature things during ballet class and trying to hold it all in, random trips to the grocery store during late hours of the night wearing ridiculous clothes and buying all baking supplies, taking way too many pictures and then editing them so we actually look good, and so many others, I simply can't name them all. These girls have literally changed my life. They've always been there for me. They make me laugh harder than I thought I could. They help me through my toughest trials. They always know how to make me smile and feel good. They are truly incredible people and I cannot wait to see how far they go in life. I know they have bright futures ahead of them and that all their goals can and will be accomplished. I am so proud of how much they have grown this year and I am so excited to watch them continue to improve themselves and their talents. I hope we can stay in touch, even with so much distance between us. I just want to thank them for everything they have done for me and that they have added to my life. I am completely undeserving of their love and care, yet they gave it to me anyway. I love them more than they will ever know and I am missing them already. Thank you so much, girls! You have truly made this an amazing year.

Since I can't decide what to put as my last summer bucket list item, I think I'm just going to post the whole thing, just for kicks and giggles, so here it is. Buckle up. It's pretty epic. And, unfinished, might I add. Still want to add a few things before I finalize it. Alright, without further adieu:

1.      Spend one full day watching movies in my pajamas, building couch cushion forts
2.      Go camping
3.      Play messy Twister
4.      Go TPing
5.      Get a tan tattoo
6.      Go on a trip to somewhere
7.      Kiss underwater
8.      Dance in the rain
9.      Get really fit
10.  Drive and get lost somewhere
11.  Make a bonfire
12.  Sleep under the stars
13.  See a movie at a drive-in theater
14.  Make ice cream
15.  Have a picnic
16.  Stay up all night
17.  Make a summer playlist
18.  Go paintballing
19.  Eat s’mores
20.  Read the Book of Mormon
21.  Have breakfast for dinner
22.  Tie dye t-shirts
23.  Watch the sunset and sunrise
24.  Play badminton
25.  Do something you would never do
26.  Have a poker night
27.  Make homemade pasta
28.  Go bowling
29.  Go to a water park
30.  Paint filled balloons wall art
31.  Go berry picking
32.  Do a scavenger hunt somewhere
33.  Spend a whole day barefoot
34.  Go fishing
35.  Learn to cook/bake and make something every week
36.  Watch the whole Harry Potter series in a day
37.  Do melted crayon art  So, there you go. The entire bucket list of summer 2012. Wish me luck as I try and accomplish every single item on the list. I'm surely going to need it!! I hope everyone has an amazing summer, filled with lots and lots of suntanning and ice cream and all nighters! Let's make this one amazing!

2 days to go!!

Alright alright, I know what you are all going to say.. She totally screwed up this whole 10 day count down thing. She almost made it, but she forgot to blog day 2! I know!! I could hardly believe it myself. I totally devoted myself to this whole blogging everyday for my last 10 days, but I guess I just underestimated how freaking exhausted and busy I would be on the last day of shows. Exhausted from the dancing, but mostly, ironically, from being so gosh darn emotional. When did I become the stupid crier!? I hate it. Make it stop immediately.

My parents came down for the weekend to see my shows and I can't even tell you how amazing it is knowing that someone is in the audience watching you. It made me try so much harder and it made me so anxious, for some reason. I tried so hard to make everything the best it could be and I smiled harder than I ever had. The shows went great for the most part. Of course, the best shows were the ones that my parents came to. I wish that I hadn't have made so many stupid mistakes, and I really wish that other people would have put more effort and care into the shows, but I guess I have no control over that and that's just how it goes when it's the end of the year and people simply don't care anymore. But, in the end, I was happy. My last time on stage was the best time that I had ever run the piece. Everything went well and I just gave it all I had and had fun. Dancing is so much more fun when all you're thinking about is enjoying yourself and giving it your all, instead of worrying about what mark you're supposed to be on or which foot you're supposed to bow on, or what the counts are for that certain part. It's miserable to have to think all the time while you're dancing. It's much better to just. . .dance! haha! So, I'm glad that I learned at least that this year. Being at the Washington School of Ballet has taught me most of all how to let go and relax a little bit. I mean, I'm still stiff as a board and I still always think about being perfect all the time, but there is a moment here and there when I actually feel like I'm expressing myself and I forget about being all technical and what not. Hopefully I can continue to develop my artistry and keep working toward that goal.


After the shows were over, I didn't know what to do with myself. I sure as heck did not want to say goodbye to anyone yet, so I just occupied myself with dressing room cleaning and organizing my ballet bag. But, the room was eventually clean and my ballet bag was practically alphabetically organized and I had to face the fact that I was going to have to part ways with all of these amazing people. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but, of course, that did not last at all... stupid crying. I started hugging people and saying goodbye and the tears just kept on coming. I hate when you start crying and you can't stop because you just keep thinking about why you're crying and it just keeps coming. And that is exactly what happened to me. I met so many amazing, incredible people this year and I made some of the best friends I have ever had, and I can't imagine going to ballet class and not seeing them there to greet me as I walk in the door and make me laugh within the first minute of me being there. I love them so much and I miss them already. Saying goodbye to them was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's going to be so difficult not being with them everyday. So now all I can do is keep telling myself that I will see them someday soon. Thank you all for one of the best years of my life. You have changed my life for the better and I am so blessed to have been able to have you in my life, at least for just a short time.

2. I'm going to miss living in the nation's capital and being able to live in such a  historical area. I have had such a blast this year and during last summer seeing all the sites and visiting all the monuments. I grew up in such a bland area (no offense, Colorado) and there is really nothing to go see. I mean, the mountains are beautiful, but even those get a little boring sometimes. I have loved learning about the history of my country through visiting all the cool places there are to see. And even though I didn't ever take a lot of advantage of it, and there was never any real time to go see everything, I'm glad to have been able to at least see everything that I wanted to see. All of the monuments just take my breath away and it is remarkable to me all of the spirit and courage our founding fathers had in their efforts to bring freedom to this nation. I love thinking about all of the men who have truly shaped this country and made it who it is today. I'm so thankful for all the people who gave their lives for the United States. I am so lucky to call this place my home. Washington DC has been such a neat place to live. I love having all of the monuments almost literally in my backyard and pointing out all the awesome places I have been to my parents when they visit. I have so enjoyed seeing all the sites and going to all the museums and exhibits. I think that DC has turned me into a history fan...but that's just a secret between you and me. I guess I've turned into one of those nerds who actually likes learning about history, which is so weird, because I usually hate social studies and learning all that crap in school. But, really living in such a historic place has given me a new insight on things. There is just a cool feeling at all the monuments. It makes me feel like I'm apart of something. I'm going to miss being able to point out the Washington Monument when I go to Georgetown or being able to go the Smithsonians whenever I want. It's going to be quite the adjustment going back to boring, old Colorado :)

During the summer, I really want to have a picnic. It's such a stereotypical thing to do, but I don't believe I've ever actually done it. I want to pick out a cute little park somewhere, make some awesome food, pack it in a basket and just go enjoy an afternoon sitting on a blanket in the sun. It sounds really fun for some reason, even though it's pretty simple. Sometimes, the simplest things are the best anyway. I think I'm gonna make some amazing sandwiches and homemade ice cream and a fruit salad and have me some picnic awesomeness :) Oh! Which reminds me; I also have to make homemade ice cream this summer. We always do this, but it never turns out quite right. It's always a little too melty, and I want to make the real deal amazing ice cream that you buy at the store. I'm still working on finding a recipe and finding a spectacular, mouth watering flavor I want to make, but I'm going to create the most scrumptious ice cream you have ever heard of. Just wait ;)