Monday, May 28, 2012

2 days to go!!

Alright alright, I know what you are all going to say.. She totally screwed up this whole 10 day count down thing. She almost made it, but she forgot to blog day 2! I know!! I could hardly believe it myself. I totally devoted myself to this whole blogging everyday for my last 10 days, but I guess I just underestimated how freaking exhausted and busy I would be on the last day of shows. Exhausted from the dancing, but mostly, ironically, from being so gosh darn emotional. When did I become the stupid crier!? I hate it. Make it stop immediately.

My parents came down for the weekend to see my shows and I can't even tell you how amazing it is knowing that someone is in the audience watching you. It made me try so much harder and it made me so anxious, for some reason. I tried so hard to make everything the best it could be and I smiled harder than I ever had. The shows went great for the most part. Of course, the best shows were the ones that my parents came to. I wish that I hadn't have made so many stupid mistakes, and I really wish that other people would have put more effort and care into the shows, but I guess I have no control over that and that's just how it goes when it's the end of the year and people simply don't care anymore. But, in the end, I was happy. My last time on stage was the best time that I had ever run the piece. Everything went well and I just gave it all I had and had fun. Dancing is so much more fun when all you're thinking about is enjoying yourself and giving it your all, instead of worrying about what mark you're supposed to be on or which foot you're supposed to bow on, or what the counts are for that certain part. It's miserable to have to think all the time while you're dancing. It's much better to just. . .dance! haha! So, I'm glad that I learned at least that this year. Being at the Washington School of Ballet has taught me most of all how to let go and relax a little bit. I mean, I'm still stiff as a board and I still always think about being perfect all the time, but there is a moment here and there when I actually feel like I'm expressing myself and I forget about being all technical and what not. Hopefully I can continue to develop my artistry and keep working toward that goal.

After the shows were over, I didn't know what to do with myself. I sure as heck did not want to say goodbye to anyone yet, so I just occupied myself with dressing room cleaning and organizing my ballet bag. But, the room was eventually clean and my ballet bag was practically alphabetically organized and I had to face the fact that I was going to have to part ways with all of these amazing people. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but, of course, that did not last at all... stupid crying. I started hugging people and saying goodbye and the tears just kept on coming. I hate when you start crying and you can't stop because you just keep thinking about why you're crying and it just keeps coming. And that is exactly what happened to me. I met so many amazing, incredible people this year and I made some of the best friends I have ever had, and I can't imagine going to ballet class and not seeing them there to greet me as I walk in the door and make me laugh within the first minute of me being there. I love them so much and I miss them already. Saying goodbye to them was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's going to be so difficult not being with them everyday. So now all I can do is keep telling myself that I will see them someday soon. Thank you all for one of the best years of my life. You have changed my life for the better and I am so blessed to have been able to have you in my life, at least for just a short time.

2. I'm going to miss living in the nation's capital and being able to live in such a  historical area. I have had such a blast this year and during last summer seeing all the sites and visiting all the monuments. I grew up in such a bland area (no offense, Colorado) and there is really nothing to go see. I mean, the mountains are beautiful, but even those get a little boring sometimes. I have loved learning about the history of my country through visiting all the cool places there are to see. And even though I didn't ever take a lot of advantage of it, and there was never any real time to go see everything, I'm glad to have been able to at least see everything that I wanted to see. All of the monuments just take my breath away and it is remarkable to me all of the spirit and courage our founding fathers had in their efforts to bring freedom to this nation. I love thinking about all of the men who have truly shaped this country and made it who it is today. I'm so thankful for all the people who gave their lives for the United States. I am so lucky to call this place my home. Washington DC has been such a neat place to live. I love having all of the monuments almost literally in my backyard and pointing out all the awesome places I have been to my parents when they visit. I have so enjoyed seeing all the sites and going to all the museums and exhibits. I think that DC has turned me into a history fan...but that's just a secret between you and me. I guess I've turned into one of those nerds who actually likes learning about history, which is so weird, because I usually hate social studies and learning all that crap in school. But, really living in such a historic place has given me a new insight on things. There is just a cool feeling at all the monuments. It makes me feel like I'm apart of something. I'm going to miss being able to point out the Washington Monument when I go to Georgetown or being able to go the Smithsonians whenever I want. It's going to be quite the adjustment going back to boring, old Colorado :)

During the summer, I really want to have a picnic. It's such a stereotypical thing to do, but I don't believe I've ever actually done it. I want to pick out a cute little park somewhere, make some awesome food, pack it in a basket and just go enjoy an afternoon sitting on a blanket in the sun. It sounds really fun for some reason, even though it's pretty simple. Sometimes, the simplest things are the best anyway. I think I'm gonna make some amazing sandwiches and homemade ice cream and a fruit salad and have me some picnic awesomeness :) Oh! Which reminds me; I also have to make homemade ice cream this summer. We always do this, but it never turns out quite right. It's always a little too melty, and I want to make the real deal amazing ice cream that you buy at the store. I'm still working on finding a recipe and finding a spectacular, mouth watering flavor I want to make, but I'm going to create the most scrumptious ice cream you have ever heard of. Just wait ;)

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