Saturday, May 26, 2012


The only words that come to mind are Holy Shaz. Only three more days until I am back home in Colorado and only one more day with all my Washington Ballet dancers. We are getting down to the wire, but I still can't think of saying goodbye yet. I'm just blocking it out of my mind for the time being, or else I'll just burst into tears every time it creeps back into my head. It's going to be incredibly hard to leave this amazing place and all of the amazing people that I have grown so close with throughout the year. I've made some life long friends in merely a school year, and I could not be happier to have had the pleasure of getting to know them, in all of their flaws and all of their perfections and all of their unique personalities. I wish that I never had to leave them. I wish that they could all just follow me back to Colorado and live with me for the rest of my life. Why can't we never have to say goodbye? Life would be so much better this way; always staying with the people who have had an impact on your life and who have helped you through hard times and who have made the good times that much better.

I just got home from a very long day in the theater. 2 shows down and only 2 more to go. As always, there were some mistakes, which frustrates me. It's so disappointing when you know that it's your last run through of a piece of choreography and so many things go wrong, but I just have to remember that there were so many other times when everything went perfectly and I was happy with my work. Despite the little mishaps, I am very happy with how the performances went today. The first show, everything went almost perfectly. I'm just glad that my mom came to that one and got to see me dance for the first time since Christmas. It makes you work so much harder when you know there is always going to be at least one pair of eyes in the audience following you the entire show. I always get so nervous when my parents come to watch me dance, but those are the shows I am usually most proud of. The second show was a little worse. Lots of mistakes happened and I just wish that I would have done better for the last run through of a piece call "Reflections." I mean, I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dancers usually only remember all the bad things that happened on stage and never remember all the amazing things that happened. It's a terrible habit we all have. And nothing is ever good enough for us. But, I am so happy with how today went, regardless of the bad. I got to share the stage with so many close friends, and that's all that matters. I put on my biggest smile and performed like crazy, and that's good enough for me! I have 2 shows to do tomorrow, so wish me luck!! I'm going to need it to get through both shows without totally breaking down into tears. I can't believe my last day with Washington Ballet is tomorrow. I just need to deny this fact for a little while longer.
I'd like to think this is what I look like when I can't do something because I'm mormon haha!

3. Surely, I will miss all of the mormon jokes and puns that have been made throughout the year. Every time I move to a new place and everyone finds out I'm a mormon, they all have such interesting and ridiculous questions and things to say. "How many wives does your dad have?" "Do you have to wear a full body suit to the swimming pool?" "Can you wear makeup?" "Do you guys worship salamanders?" And the list goes on and on and on. Even though it gets a little bit crazy sometimes, I love being able to share who I really am with people by correcting their ridiculous ideas about mormons. I can always tell when people have something to ask me because they always begin with "...wait. I have a question." That is the magic words and then I know they are about to ask me some question about how odd mormons are. I don't know where people get these ideas, but I always get a good laugh out of it. People seem to relate everything I do to my  "mormonness" and keep me in line when I'm not doing something "mormon approved," like drinking doctor pepper or wearing shorts above the knee. I have really enjoyed teaching people about my religion,weird and preachy as that may sound. I love hearing and answering all their questions. I have even given one of my friends a pamphlet explaining all of our standards and beliefs and it was hilarious watching their faces as they read all the things I'm not allowed to do. It was completely absurd to them that I would never be able to drink alcohol or wear a bikini or go shopping on Sundays. It's just funny how difficult these things would be for normal people, but, since I've grown up with all of these high standards, it's not really a big deal. I'm going to miss all the poking fun and all the jokes and all the questions. Thanks for always making me laugh and for pointing out how unmormon I am when I am chugging down my Starbucks Vanilla Chai teas haha!

An item from the summer bucket list: I want to have a poker night. Ok this one is a little random, but I really want to do this. I always have so much fun playing card games with my friends and family and I think it would be really fun to host a whole poker party thing. Just have a lot of snacks and poker chips and face cards and many many poker faces :) haha. That last one is a mandatory component. Just sayin. I always have the best time just playing games with people I love, but I wish there was more time to just have a night of playing games and laughing and getting ridiculously competitive over a pointless game. I definitely need to devote more time to the little things like this and try and not get caught up in doing the "important" things. So, I'm definitely going to do this. Everyone needs a little gambling in their life anyway :)

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