Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Confessions of an Algophobic

An initial word to the wise: Never ever pretend your back feels fine for 2 years and do nothing about about until you literally can't walk. When your lower back is constantly in pain, you should probably tell someone about it in the first month or so. But, me being the stubborn dancer that I am, neglected to say anything about my back issue and merely put it off, making excuses like "oh it's probably normal" or "oh, it'll probably go away after awhile." All of these excuses ended up being lies.

I am sending out this message to whomever actually reads these posts from my humble abode of a bedroom, laying on an ice pack because that's really the only thing I could actually do today. Alright, so the paragraph above is a bit of an overstatement. Sure, my back has really been hurting since last December and I haven't done anything about it, but it was pretty bearable for the most part. It wasn't until this past Friday that giving birth to an 11 pound baby sounded more appealing than having to endure the pain of my lower back. . . alright, that's an overstatement too. But seriously! You don't ever realize how much you depend on your back until it hurts to sit. Or stand. Or walk. Or laugh, for heaven's sake! So now, due to me ignoring that little nag in my spine for waaay too long, I am forced to lay in bed, surfing the web, which obviously includes quite a bit of online shopping, facebook stalking and pinterest obsessing. Yes, I have spent the past two days spending money I clearly do not have, looking at pictures of people I don't even talk to anymore and pinning drool-worthy recipes that I most likely will never make. Best waste of time ever :)

As I'm sure most of you are, if you are confused about the title of this post, an algophobic person someone who is afraid of getting hurt, which I happen to be. I am deathly afraid of being injured in any way. Secretly, I haven't told anyone about my back because I'm scared it's something really serious and then I'll have to take a lot of time off from dancing, and that just cannot happen. As a kid, I was afraid of doing anything risky, like riding a bike or jumping in the pool, because I thought I was going to hurt myself. In fact, I didn't learn to ride my bike until I was 10 and it was the most traumatizing experience ever. You can always tell when your dad lets go of your bike seat! He's not fooling anyone! So I would be going along fine, and then, of course, he would let go. The next scene, if you can imagine, includes some wobbly steering followed by a very embarrassing crash and some skinned knees. Moral of the story: don't ever believe them when they say they are right behind you and holding onto you. It's always a lie. Instead, just never ride a bike. It's really the best option for everyone.

I guess the upside to this whole thing is that I've spent so much time on the internet these past 2 days that maybe I will just be so sick of it that I'll actually do what I need to get done instead of getting sucked into watching that newest episode of Modern Family, which is a brilliant show by the way. I just can't help myself from not watching it sometimes! In the moment, I always think that I'll have enough time to get all my school work done. Five hours later, after watching episode after episode of random TV shows, I have that "CRAP" moment, which only lasts temporarily, cause then I just shrug my shoulders and go to bed. There's always tomorrow. . . until I've wasted away every single day of the year and I am forced to do summer school!! That is the greatest fear of all, I think. And that is why after today, I am pledging to do my school work on time. End of story. . . .pff we all know that won't happen. But, one can hope!!

Anyway, this was just supposed to be a short little blip of how crappy I feel at the moment, but, as it always does, it has turned into a tangent that has gone way too far. Thank you for listening to my complaints, whoever you are. It's nice to have this imaginary support system. I get to yell and moan as long as I want and no one will be there to tell me to shut up and stop whining already. That is the true beauty of blogging. So thank you, blogspot.com. You are a true hero.

Goodnight to all. Please pray my back will feel better soon! I'm gonna need some serious miracles here!

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